To Be Considerate

Today, in the class, we talked about gender roles, and Teacher Maureen put up an interesting question, which is “Suppose you are stranded in a deserted island and you could choose a company with you, will you choose a male or a female?” Each of us got a chance to speak out our own opinion. There were some really good points made by us.

Someone said that he would choose a female, because during the indefinite lonely time, he may need a person who was willing to listen to him and comfort him. Someone said that she would choose a male, because in that almost wild environment, a man tended to be physically stronger and could help her cope with the situation well. However, when it came to Shuwen, he thought for a while, and said that he would choose a man, too, because with a man as a partner, they could work together to escape from the island. That was really a critical thinking, but the thing that astonished me was his following words. He said that, one main reason for not choosing a female was that he did not think that a woman was suitable for that harsh living condition, and that there was a low possibility that she would want to go with him. The whole class fell silent for a few seconds and then burst out a big round of applause for his noble and excellent response.

After class, when I thought about it, it made me fall into reflection. Is it true that sometimes all of us are subconsciously inclined to be so self-centered that we fail to think about others’ feelings? Does our way of thinking and consideration tend to be more focus on our own? Moreover, do we really care what people think in such kind of situation? This reminded me think of another story I had read before.

Once upon the time, King Arthur and his knights were in the journey in the quest of the Holy Grail. When they finally reached the castle where the Grail was, an old gatekeeper of the castle blocked their way. He said that only the person who could answer the question he gave could go inside. There was his question, “What does a woman want most?” They tried many times, but none of them could make the gatekeeper nod. So King Arthur and the knights went to consult a famous witch, who was said to have enormous power and the same amount of wisdom. However, the witch told King Arthur that unless he made one of his knights marry her, she would not tell him the correct answer.

King Arthur was facing a dilemma. The witch was ugly and aged, but without her help, their journey and their long-term efforts would be in vain. Just at this time, Sir Galahad, the most considerate and caring one, stepped forward and announced that he was willing to marry the witch. He asked for King Arthur’s permission, and after consideration, he agreed. Then, King Arthur went to the witch’s again to inform her about the news. The witch told him the answer. She said that the thing a woman wants most was to be given the chance to determine and choose her life. It was correct and Arthur finally got the Grail.

To keep his promise, King Arthur arranged the wedding for the witch and Sir Galahad. However, at the wedding, neither the king nor the other knights attended the celebration. What could be celebrated anyway? They two were alone at the empty hall at night. Then, the witch told Sir Galahad that several years before, she had been cursed by her foe to have such an ugly face and age tens of years. The spell could only be broken by her husband, but he should choose whether he wanted her to return normal in daytime or at night. Sir Galahad thought for a while, but did not choose at all. Instead, he let the witch herself made the decision. He told her that whatever her choice was, he would respect it. Then, just like magic, the old, ugly witch turned into the most beautiful woman Sir Galahad had ever seen. The witch told him that because he gave her the chance to make her life and really consider her feelings, she chose to be beautiful both day and night.

In my opinion, to be considerate is not limited in the certain gender. Everyone will appreciate others’ care and consideration, no matter he or she is the one. When we are asking for something from someone, we are prone to assume that the person we ask will not refuse. If he does disagree, we get frustrated, but how many times we will see through their eyes before we make requirement for others? Do we stand in other people’s shoes and really care about what they may feel of that? I admit that I did not. Sometime, I was even more stricter with others than myself. I retrieved more than I gave. Once I recall that how selfish and inconsiderate I used to be, I feel ashamed. Now since I know my flaw, I try to correct it and make the improvement. Although it may take a long time for me to conquer my weakness in character, I can start from this very point to do things little by little, which I believe will push me forward towards better and better.