In my friends’ eyes, I am a quite brave girl. Seemingly, nothing can make me step back. Reading ghost stories alone at night is one case. Apart from that, I extremely like watching the programs of investigation, especially the investigation of the murder. You can never believe that I am not afraid of dead body. From my point of view, dead body is the most respectful thing in the world since it is the only evidence that indicates that you have ever existed in the world. So what can make me afraid? Actually, there is another me who is lonely and timid and needs solace and protection urgently.
This me always exists when my loved ones suffer from something bad.
There was a time when I was extremely afraid of death. That terrible memory dates back to the November of 2007. My mother got seriously ill and was diagnosed of Brain Tumor. The news was like a thunder destroying the silence of my life. Since my mother was such a healthy woman who kept doing exercise every day, how come did she get brain tumor?
I got stuck in the bog full of fear and dread. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, what I thought was what if my mother died. I tried my best to drag myself from the negative pole, but in vain. I couldn't prevent myself from thinking about the worst result.
I was afraid that no one would keep me company and listen to my confiding bedside; I was afraid that no one would buy the size of “XXXXL” clothes for me who was too shy to buy clothes myself; I was afraid that no one would give me constructive and explicit advice without any worry that she would get anything from me……
I can still recall the degree of my pain at that time. The painful feeing was like living in deep sea. The sea water was my tears. The high pressure was the illness of my mother. I couldn't hear anything but my sobbing. And I couldn't know what on earth happened above the sea. Every day, I waited suspense for the final result of the operation. God blesses her! The tumor was not malignant. That means she could recover totally. I couldn't be happier when I got the news. From then on, the fear started to die down. Everything came to normal again.
That is my dreadful memory which is full of fear and depression.
Qiu Liyi(Susie)
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Tough times never last, but tough people do.
ReplyDeleteIt was already months after my failure in the National Collage Entrance examination when this line came into my sight oneday in a shop window. At that moment, tears just dimed my eyes.
Every one gets its hard times, during which we may feel helpless and depressed. It may take a long period of time before we fully recover from it and thoroughly get rid of the shadow ever cast. However, some valueble traits would stay with us as we become tougher and tougher.
It is the same with the saying "nothing is impossible to a willing heart". I feel encouraged rather than sorry for your experience and I do hope we both would become mature from our past sufferings.
After all, tough times never last but tough people do.
It is true that the bad things happening on our beloved ones make us feel more awful than that on our own. The fear and dread of losing our family members are implicit, but enormous. They can wrench our hearts and tear them into pieces. However, indulging in the endless pain and suffering could not do anything good both for you and the ones who love you. In my opinion, standing up and trying to use your optimism and ethusiasm to influence them and become their spirit support are the best thing we can do. Besides, treasure the every second you spend with your family, because they are the ones who love you and will care you for ever.
ReplyDeleteFear can have a paralysing effect. It numbs our senses,emotions,thoughts.What is important is that we do not allow it to overwhelm us. Life is a journey and is never a smooth journey--it has its ups and downs. Life is very unpredictable and our part we must not take things for granted. As Veronica has said, we come out of our tials and tribulations a much stronger person.
ReplyDeleteI can understand what you went through when someone so close to you discovers the unexpected. And as Tina pointed out, in such a situation, you need to be strong for that person.
I`m so happy to hear that your mum is fine.This is indeed a blessing.
Take life one step at a time. There`s more to learn and experience--face the future with courage and perseverance, Susie.